River Avenue Blues

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The Yankees have a sense of humor

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I can’t really criticize the Yankees for the Carl Pavano contract. In 2004, everyone wanted a piece of Pavano, and the Yanks were bidding against the Red Sox, Tigers and Orioles, to name a few of the teams involved. Who knew that Carl Pavano, who had just thrown back-to-back 200-inning seasons, would utterly break down?

This week, when the Yankees officially welcome Alex Rodriguez and Mariano Rivera back into the fold, the Carl Pavano Era will come to an ignoble end. The Yankees are going to release Pavano and sign him to a Minor League deal for the purposes of rehab and insurance.

That’s not the funny part though. Here’s the funny part, courtesy of George King:

Pavano, 31, can’t return to Arizona because his questionable work ethic ticked off fitness guru Brett Fischer last winter. Pavano is leaning toward accepting the Yankees’ minor-league offer so he can have a place to rehab his elbow. By keeping him in the system, the Yankees protect themselves from Pavano healing ahead of schedule (pigs have a better chance of flying) and pitching effectively for another team.

So basically, the Yankees are worried that Pavano, whose work ethic is so bad that a fitness expert won’t take him on as a client, may recover faster than they anticipate? And I have a bridge to sell you.

The Yanks got 19 starts and 111.1 innings from Carl Pavano for their $39.95 million. They have to keep him in the Minors to collect the insurance on his contract. But do they really have to feed us this line? I guess the Yanks really do have that sense of humor.

A Yankee depth chart lacking in dimension

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For reasons unknown to me, MLB.com keeps official depth charts updated constantly throughout the season. As players leave via free agency and sign with new teams, those charts are updated for all your fantasy needs.

Of course, these charts — works in progress, if you will — also make for some humor and a few nightmares. Take, for example, the current Yankee depth chart:

That, my friends, is a nightmare. Because Mariano Rivera, Jorge Posada and Jose Molina haven’t officially re-upped, the Yankees have no one catching their supposed closer Kyle Farnsworth. I’m already breaking out in a cold sweat just thinking about it.

Meanwhile, with the A-Rod deal still pending, Wilson Betemit will be the starting third baseman. Naturally.

The bullpen behind Kloser Kyle — Humberto Sanchez, Jose Veras, Brian Bruney, Edwar Ramirez, Chris Britton, Jeff Krastens, Ross Ohlendorf, Darrell Rasner — is incredibly disturbing. Can you imagine Bruney as the third option out of the pen? Run away.

Luckily, Opening Day is a long way away. By then Mo, Jorge, Molina and A-Rod will have assumed their rightful places on the chart, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see Andy Pettitte’s name penciled in that number one spot on the mound either.

So as the Yanks’ free agent spree has largely come to a close, we can sit back and be thankful that this isn’t going to be our depth chart. Had the chips fallen the other way, we very well could have been looking at this situation. And we would have been panicking.